Fixing Your 'Fail at the Chest' Bench Press

Create: 01/17/2016 - 17:19
* by Swede Burns - Jan 08, 2016 I know my readers. I know you. Maybe not as well as your mother knows you, and maybe not in the biblical sense (well, maybe some of you), but I know you. I know your struggles. You lift. You probably look like you lift. When people come up to you in line at Target, because they see you have muscles, and they ask "hey, how much can you lift?" I know what they mean. They do not care about your deadlift. Nope. And not a single one of those motherfuckers wants to hear about your squat. You can tell them all about that hip-crease and the top surface of your knee and how other fools don't even know about hitting depth like you do and they will nod their heads, but their hearts will be somewhere else. They want to know how much you can bench press. That's right, every single normal, non-lifting person on this planet wants just one piece of information from you, once they notice you're jacked. They want to know how much you can bench press. That's it! I mean, why the hell else would you even want to have muscles if not to bench press more weight than anyone else? Right? Here's the rub: you can't tell them the truth. This comes back to the reason they are asking the question. I've been answering it for going on twenty years and believe me when I tell you: no matter how strong you are, you are nowhere near as strong as someone they know, and they want to tell you all about it. Mistakes 101: Assistance Work Their uncle or brother or some kid they went to school with repped your best bench press all day long when he was just a youngster. I've heard of guys hitting 650 pounds raw in high school. So, how do you handle this dilemma? You have two choices. Either you deal with some wiener shitting all over your hard work with fables about mighty men you'll never see in real life, or just fight fire with fire and make up a ridiculous fucking lie. I usually start by telling them I bench 1000 pounds. This sets the bullshit bar pretty high. It takes a special kind of person to tell you they know someone who benches more than 1000 pounds. Usually just giving that answer will take the wind right out of their sails and ruin whatever story they were going to tell. This makes me really happy. CONTINUE READING AT:


Submitted by badazcnb on
how about when you tell them you squatted 800lbs and they say how many reps 1 you idiot then they go oh i guess thats good lol

Submitted by Team McCloskey on